The History

I've never seen myself as an extreme overeater. Sure, I might eat a bit much for a single meal, but usually don't eat much for the rest of the day. I sometimes see the things I'm eating, and just want to climb out of my body and smack myself. "Stupid Stupid Stupid!" I know it's wrong, but when I go to MickeyD's... two Big Macs just sound so much better than one!

I'm not sure when it really all started. When I was 8, I was a toothpick. Back then, I used to play outside all the time, and we had a jungle gym in the backyard. After my father passed away, things changed. It was 1985, and the Nintendo Entertainment System was released. Playing more video games, and playing less outside was one of the bigger reasons I probably started gaining the weight. One of the BIGGEST reasons I've always attributed for my weight gain was the extreme diet I was put on after my father passed away. Even though I was skin and bones, my cholesterol level was through the roof. My brother and I were both put on severely restrictive calorie, fat, and cholesterol diets. Once we stabilized, we started eating like normal again. My body yo-yoed. By the time I was in middle school, I was probably about 20 lbs overweight. By no means the "fat kid", but definately starting to get a little bit of a stomach. By my senior year of High School, things were definately starting to show badly. I had gotten into computers a few years prior, and became even MORE reclusive than ever. When I graduated, I was about 35-40lbs overweight. I got myself a job in the grocery store, and things started to stabilize. I was active, riding my bike more than ever.... but still not eating right. Then at 20, I landed my first IT job. This was a double-kill for me. Not only did I become even MORE sedentary, but I could afford to eat a LOT more, which I did. I was introduced to the concept of the "all-you-can-eat pizza buffet", and immediately, I skyrocketed to 240.

I moved to St. Louis, with the entire idea that I was on my own, and had complete control over what I eat, and when I eat. Rather than take this and use the opportunity to lose, I wasted it away, going out to dinner more than ever. Yeah, I ate dinner at home , but usually had a big pile of rice-a-roni, pasta-roni, or some other side item to go with my chicken and vegetebles. Once I got married, I settled down, and started relaxing the diet... before I knew it.... I was at 280. Then the divorce came, and I spiraled into eating for comfort.... 290... 300... 310... 320. It just seemed like it happened so quick.

So here I am. Over the years, I've tried Atkins, Weight Watchers.. all of the fad diets you can name. They work for a while, then I plateu, get discouraged, and move back into my standard eating patterns. Lately, stress has become a big factor for my choice of eating habits.

I realize that any diet I do, it can't be restrictive. The second someone tells me I can't have a burger, I want it more than anything else in this world. A friend of mine has been preaching to me the diet that I need for a long time... eat whatever you want.... just don't eat as much!